Archive | April, 2012

Nasia gets cold feet

30 Apr

Dominic tasted the sancoche for salt as Nasia checked her email. As it was Friday, it was Dominic’s turn in the kitchen – an addendum to the contract that Nasia insisted on when his sancoche took the prize at the politically correctly named “People Who Can Cook” competition held by their current Internet Service Provider. And he looked yummy in that apron protecting his beloved dress khakis as he kneaded the dough for the dumplings. Such behaviour had to be rewarded, she thought to herself and left the table to ‘freshen up’ for the encounter.

Dominic looked at Nasia as she strode out of the kitchen and smiled low to himself. He knew that she was trying to be subtle about tonight, and suppressed any teasing that would hinder that. She was stunning in his striped boxers and her little vest. He looked at her enter the bedroom in her bare feet. Damn, that’s sexy. He slowly exhaled and chopped up more pimentos for the pot. As he lowered the heat, he saw Nasia back at the table with a hint of eyeliner or whatever expensive crap women wear to ‘be more attractive’.

She noticed him looking at her and smiled up and him, and then look at the laptop. Her smile suddenly faded.

“Naz? Whats wrong love?”

“You remember when you had your root canal? And you were waiting for the insurance money to pay off the loan installment on your car?”


“Well apparently, our Romantic Partnership Agreement has expired rendering you ineligible to receive any benefits from my insurance!”

Dominic stopped cold. He loved that damn car. He didn’t want to renew a contract just to pay off the damn car insurance, but he didn’t want to move out either. He actually liked Nasia. She would curl up with him on the couch and read a book, rather than bug him about his game, and she did organise the Bahamas vacation. He really did not want to renegotiate the contract. As a matter of fact, he liked things just the way they were. He even thought of offering her Permanent Romantic Partnership, what they used to call Marriage. But Naz was too afraid of commitment after being burnt by an ex. Even though her physical scars healed well, it was a bit of a struggle getting her to agree to a five-year contract, wanting it to be a Medium Term Plan instead of a short-term contract. He wished Naz would just say something.

Nic looked as if he had shrunk in the past 30 seconds. She wanted him to say something, anything. But he kept stirring the pot as though the answers would appear. At first, she wanted their relationship to just last for one weekend. The handsome, tattooed man had captured her fancy, and for one glorious weekend she had captured his. She had just come out of rehab, the therapist had advised her to take a vacation and just enjoy herself. After the weekend was over, she had a new appreciation for the scar on her back, and he had asked her to move in with him. When she declined, he said it was no bother and that he could just move in with her.

She wanted him to be just like Roman, so that she could kick him out. When he got a better job, he wanted to sign a contract so that he could help her get her new car. She did not want to be obligated to him. It was such a useless struggle since she had already fallen gaga for him. So many months wasted. Then when he wrote up the contract, she wanted to change it to a six-month contract. They argued so much that he moved back home to his mother. As the second week passed, she realised how lonesome her bed was and quickly folded. His mother was ecstatic, offering her own diamond-and-ruby engagement ring if they ever decided to go permanent. Part of her wanted it, but she wanted to be able to fool herself if things went bad, so she changed the topic.

Dominic turned the stove off, and the ‘click’ startled her. He ladled out the sancoche and served it to her. They ate in silence. Naz could barely look at him now. His heart sunk like a cornmeal dumpling. Nasia exhaled deeply.

“I know it is sudden, but do you want to renew the contract? Or just extend the validation date for a short while? It would not be fair that my car is paid up, and yours isn’t. After all, it was only because of the contract that I was able to obtain credit for my car. I was just able to pay for mine because of the promotion. We should renew it for the next six months and take that time to make a decision.”

“Sounds good.” Dominic was a little upset. He wanted her to realise that they missed the date to renew because they were busy enjoying their time together. They had already fallen into a routine, and were even happier together than apart. Those two weeks at his mother’s house was worse than the time he was imprisoned for slapping Bernice during a fight.

They continued to eat in silence. Nasia wanted him to say that he wanted a longer contract. She was so afraid of losing him, so afraid of finding that there were more Romans than Dominics in this world. She wanted him to want her enough to say it. She knew she was in violation of rule #12 about being honest, but she did not know how to diplomatically tell him how badly she had fallen for him.

Was five years enough to heal the emotional scars from being abused? Dominic did not want to lose her. He wanted a longer contract – hell! He wanted a permanent contract! He was afraid that the world would have more Bernices than Nasias. He did not even want another Nasia. He wanted this one. To hell with rule #12! He had to be sure she was healed enough to be in permanent partnership.

“I’ll call the insurance agent in the morning. We will be fine, Nic. For some strange reason, I think we will be fine.”



And as a P.S here are the shortlinks to the sites that already have a contract. One I stole for the purposes of this story and the other one that made me laugh too hard:

Copyright © 2012


The Relationship Contract

30 Apr


We agree to be respectful of each others rights and duly agree to commit to this contract for a period of five (5) years:

1. No incidents of direct physical abuse or violence.

2. No direct or implied threats of physical abuse or violence (to self, other, or property).

3. No direct or implied threats to behave in a way that would be extremely harmful to the other person (such as exposing personal secrets).

4. No physical restrictions on either party’s freedom of movement.

5. No significant property destruction as an expression of aggression.

6. No threats to leave the relationship (except for temporary “timeouts” to defuse a tense situation).

7. No pattern of extreme verbal put-downs, or character assassinations, or other humiliating acts.

8. No acts of infidelity or behaviors which suggest infidelity.

9. No pattern of lying or deception.

10. No pattern of abusing alcohol or drugs.

11. Boys/Girls Night Out should not coincide or interfere with any couple-related plans.

12. Both parties shall be honest at all times. Diplomacy is encouraged, but not to the exclusion of truth.

13. Both parties shall share expenses except for where previously designated. (Him paying off the car loans and her paying off the mortgage on the house)

14. Both parties shall have a review of short-term goals to ensure that each party is not sacrificing their goals for the sake of the relationship, but shall encourage each other in the pursuit of their respective goals.

15. Upon contract termination, both parties have the right to renew provided that the decision is mutual.



Gracie Max gets refreshed

29 Apr

“Mr. and Mrs. Fernando J. Max, welcome back to the HoneyPot!” – she was cute, clearly new.  Yet the way she would not look directly into my eyes disturbed me, as it always does.  After all, we spend good money here, and would like to be treated with respect.

“I would show you to your room.  Would you like a menu now, or have you already – oh! Oh! I am sorry, I see that you pre-ordered room service.   Unfortunately, you did not indicate time of arrival, so you may have a bit of a wait of approximately…”

“Never mind that, we can wait.”  Fern is always impatient with the new ones.  Which is strange because he is always gentle.

“Sweetie, what is wrong with that little idiot?  Isn’t eye contact a hallmark of customer service? Why must this planet descend into such mediocrity?  Really darling, it is indeed wearying.”

“I’m sorry hon.  but by the time we get upstairs, it would not really matter to us anymore.  We came to enjoy ourselves, and we will.”

“Of course darling, why should I spoil your night?  Let the good times start!” – and with that Fernando was good again.

(A couple hours later)

“Darling, I am not feeling this right now.”

“Do you want me to call and get this refreshed for you?”

“No babe, that’s just too much hassle for just my bad mood.  It isn’t their fault.”

“Well, I’m done and I still have some time on the clock.”

“Thanks but I don’t swing that way, and you know that.”

“I was just teasing you, my love.”

So while Fern and I lay in bed, we began to chat about some business that we had gotten from a similar company and discussing what we were going to do.

Fern tucked a lock of my hair back.  our position was a bit awkward and neither of us moved just basking in the moment.  Just then, there was a call from the room service and Fern answered.

“No, my wife wasn’t really in the mood for tonight’s fare.  She insists it’s her mood and doesn’t want to refresh…oh, complimentary…hahaha! Yes indeed!  That sounds marvellous actually.  Shall I speak with her on it and call you back?… Oh, certainly!  Thank you!”

“Darling, Gracie, they are sending up The Thriller Philler – no pun intended.”

“For why? I am fine!”

“You are fine for now.  However, with our schedule, you may not be back for quite some time.  Better lay back and let Phil take care of you now.”

“And what happens to you Fern?  You are done right now.”

“Darling! I haven’t been a spectator since we were poor!  This would be like the good old days!  Back when it was called ‘prostitution’, but after it was legalised!”

“Ok, only because I will be in Japan for your birthday and you sound rather excited about this.”  I wasn’t very happy, but for my Fern – anything.

“Oh goody darling!”

And then Phil knocked and came inside.

– ND

Copyright © 2012

%d bloggers like this: